It's Always the Quiet Ones
by kisshuismylife
Summary: My first LettucexPai one-shot! Pai's watching Lettuce at the Cafe, and is startled to see her screaming at Ryou. What's going on? Warning: Lettuce is REALLY OOC.


**It's Always the Quiet Ones**

Pai sighed and decided to take a break. On his way out of his lab, he met Kisshu, who said, "Off to play with the fish?"

"Shut up," Pai said- even though that WAS his plan. He teleported out, and landed on the roof of Café Mew Mew. To his surprise, someone inside seemed to be shouting. _That sounds like Lettuce! _Pai thought. He cautiously looked in a window, and saw Lettuce screaming at Blondie, while everyone else seemed to be hiding under tables.

_**Inside Café Mew Mew: **_Ryou was ranting about how evil the Cyniclons were, and Lettuce was trying to hold it together- at least until Ryou said, "And Pai's the worst. I swear, that guy probably doesn't even care about his own mother, that's how emotionless he is."

Lettuce snapped. The others looked up as she flung the broom she was using to the floor, and stormed over to Ryou, then screamed, "PAI ISN'T LIKE THAT!"

She smacked Ryou across the face, and everyone else, including Zakuro, dove under various tables as Lettuce continued screaming.

"YOU'RE A TOTALLY RACIST BASTARD, RYOU!" Lettuce screamed. "YOUR LACK OF REMORSE AND THE FACT THAT YOU'RE MORE EVIL THAN DEEP BLUE SICKENS ME! I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU AND YOUR ROTTEN PREJUDICES AGAINST THE CYNICLONS! DID YOU EVER CONSIDER THAT THEY HAVE FEELINGS TOO!? THEY'RE JUST TRYING TO HELP THEIR PEOPLE, AND YOU COULD OBVIOUSLY CARE LESS! YOU'RE SO HEARTLESS DEEP BLUE COULD LEARN FROM YOU! I COULD CARE LESS IF SOME CHIMERA ANIMA KILLED YOUR PARENTS; THAT DOESN'T MEAN ALL CYNICLONS ARE ALIKE! I CAN'T TAKE ONE MORE RANT ABOUT HOW EVIL YOU THINK THEY ARE, SO YOU'RE GOING _**DOWN **_TODAY!"

She whipped around, and told Ichigo, "Call Moe and Miwa and tell them they're out of luck; I'M doing this! And for your information, today's the day!"

"H-hai!" Ichigo said, and took out a cell phone as Lettuce transformed.

Ryou, meanwhile, was completely stunned. And outside, Pai wasn't much better. _I had no idea Lettuce's feelings were this strong…. _Pai thought. He went back to watching, as Lettuce took out her castanets.

Lettuce felt different words coming when she took out her weapons, and she shouted, "Ribon…. Lettuce TSUNAMI!" A wall of water hit Ryou, and he screamed; the water was boiling hot. Lettuce performed the attack again as soon as the first one faded, and this time, to the others' shock, Ryou went up in steam.

Lettuce sighed and detransformed, then turned to look at her teammates. Mint and Zakuro looked like they were in shock, and Keiichiro looked like he was going to pass out or something. Ichigo and Pudding started clapping, and Lettuce smiled. "I think now I know how Moe and Miwa feel when someone hurts you, Ichigo-san," she said. "The only thing I could think about when Blondie said Pai doesn't care about anyone was taking Blondie down."

"Well, at least Part 1 is complete," Ichigo said. "Moe and Miwa aren't thrilled, but I guess they'll have to settle for killing Deep Blue's human host."

"Yup," Lettuce said.

"Now we have to get the others on board, na no da," Pudding said. "Oh, and Lettuce-oneechan should go tell Pai-oniichan that he can come out now." She pointed to a window, and the others whipped around.

Pai flinched when he heard that, but teleported into the Café. "How did you know I was there?" he asked Pudding.

"Pudding saw you," Pudding said, smirking. "So what's Pai-oniichan doing here?"

"I… um…." Pai said uncomfortably.

"You're still stalking Lettuce?" Ichigo asked. "Jeez Pai, I see what Kisshu means by 'hypocritical'."

"How does Kisshu know?" Pai asked.

"He followed you around for a whole day, and said you spent the night floating outside Lettuce's window, watching her sleep," Ichigo said, snickering.

Lettuce was bright red, and it didn't help when Ichigo said, "At least Pai's not perverted like Kisshu- right Lettuce?"

"Um…." Lettuce said. "Yeah…."

Keiichiro sighed and asked, "Pai, are you willing to help us form a truce? I think Lettuce, Ichigo and Pudding have been planning behind our backs, and I admit it's a better idea than endless fighting."

"I'll help, and I'll go get Kisshu and Taruto," Pai said.

"We already called them," Ichigo said, gesturing to herself and Pudding.

Sure enough, Kisshu and Taruto teleported in, and Kisshu immediately asked, "So Pai, did you have fun today?"

"You missed Lettuce killing Blondie," Pai commented.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US!?" Kisshu and Taruto shrieked.

"You would both start cheering and ruin it," Pai said.

Kisshu and Taruto gave him death glares. Pai ignored this, and told the others, "Deep Blue's human host is Aoyama Masaya."

"YAHOO!" Kisshu shouted. "Ja ne!" He teleported out before anyone could move.

Ichigo facepalmed. "My friends will kill him…." she moaned. "They think it's their job to kill Aoyuck."

Lettuce and Pudding looked worried, and then Ichigo's cell phone rang. Ichigo picked up, and said, "Hi Miwa, what's up?"

She then held the phone away from her ear as Miwa shrieked, _"YOU LET KISSHU GET THERE FIRST, THAT'S WHAT'S UP!"_

"Please don't kill him, I didn't get a chance to explain," Ichigo begged. "Pai told us Aoyuck was Deep Blue's human host, and Kisshu teleported out before any of us could so much as move. PLEASE don't hurt him!"

"_So basically, if Pai hadn't told him that, he wouldn't have taken our job away?" _Miwa asked.

"Uh…. yeah, pretty much," Ichigo said.

"_PAI'S GOING DOWN!" _Miwa shouted, and hung up.

Ichigo sighed and looked at Pai. "I'd suggest going to hide under your bed or something; I don't think Moe and Miwa will look there," she said.

"Not going to work, those two can teleport directly to someone, and then they'll annihilate Pai," Lettuce sighed.

Ichigo thought, then said, "Maybe if Pai's kissing Lettuce, they'll leave him be!"

Lettuce and Pai both turned so red it probably wasn't healthy. Taruto looked at Pai and said, "You look like a rotting tomato, Pai. Purple and dark red."

"Lettuce-oneechan looks very Christmas-y," Pudding said.

Before Pai could blow his top, they heard teleportation, and Moe and Miwa appeared. Pai looked nervous; Moe and Miwa were looking at him like he was prey. "Um…. what are you going to do to me?" he asked.

Just as Kisshu teleported in, Moe said evilly, "We're going to tickle you into oblivion."

Kisshu squeaked and teleported out again. Ichigo sighed. "Miwa, where is he?" she asked.

Miwa sighed and concentrated, then said, "Under his bed. I suppose we can't tickle Pai into oblivion?"

"Not a good idea," Ichigo said. "Come on, let's go coax Kisshu out."

Moe and Miwa sighed, grabbed Ichigo, and teleported. The others looked at the spot where they'd been, but when they turned back, Pai and Lettuce were gone. "I bet he took her somewhere else to kiss her," Taruto said. "Let's form a truce later."

"Uh… okay," Keiichiro said.

_**With Pai and Lettuce: **_Pai had teleported Lettuce to the sakura tree in Inohara Park. "Did you want to tell me something?" Lettuce asked.

Pai looked at her, and said softly, "Lettuce, I love you. Will you be my girlfriend?"

In response, Lettuce kissed him. Pai was a bit startled, but kissed back, and soon found that he was enjoying this.

He was somewhat sorry when they had to break apart for air, but after he caught his breath, he asked, "I take it that was a yes?"

"That was most definitely a yes," Lettuce said happily.

This time, Pai kissed her.

**Okay, so Lettuce is beyond OOC. But I like this, so I hope you do too, and Review!**


End file.
